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Respite Care for the Elderly: How to Find It and How to Pay for It

Respite means someone else takes over for a few hours or a few days so you can rest. Here's how to set it up before you hit a crisis.

By PaidToCare Editorial Team · Published October 15, 2026 · Updated October 15, 2026

NIA defines respite care as short-term relief for primary caregivers, lasting anywhere from a few hours to several weeks. It can happen at home, in a care facility, or at an adult day center. It isn't a luxury. It's one of the main things that keeps family caregiving sustainable.

Types of respite

ARCH recommends researching emergency respite options before an emergency happens. Write down at least one backup plan now.

How to find respite near you

1. ARCH National Respite Locator: search by state and type at archrespite.org. ARCH notes that the database isn't complete, so also check your state Lifespan Respite Program or state respite coalition.
2. Area Agency on Aging or ADRC: find yours through the Eldercare Locator (800-677-1116). They often know about funded respite programs.
3. The care team: doctors, social workers, and Medicaid case managers can refer you.
4. Disease organizations: for dementia, the Alzheimer's Association (800-272-3900) can help you find local options.

How to pay for respite

Medicare

Medicare doesn't cover ongoing respite or custodial care. There's one important exception: for someone in Medicare hospice care, Medicare covers short inpatient respite stays so the caregiver can rest. Medicare's cost summary lists a 5% coinsurance of the Medicare-approved amount for inpatient respite care under hospice. Ask the hospice team how to arrange it.

Medicare's GUIDE Model is a dementia care pilot. It includes respite support for some unpaid caregivers of people living with dementia, through participating providers. Ask the doctor whether their practice takes part.

Medicaid

Many state Medicaid home- and community-based waivers include respite as a covered service. Some also pay family members to provide care, which can let one relative give another a break. See your state guide for the programs that pay family caregivers.

Veterans

The VA offers respite care for eligible veterans, at home, at adult day health care, or in a VA community living center. Talk to the veteran's VA care team or a Caregiver Support Coordinator.

Family caregiver support funds

The National Family Caregiver Support Program, run through local aging agencies, can fund respite for eligible family caregivers. Many states also have state-funded respite or Lifespan Respite grant programs.

Private pay and insurance

Some long-term care insurance policies cover respite or adult day care. Otherwise, families pay privately. Ask agencies about minimum shift lengths, since many have a minimum number of hours per visit.

Making respite actually work

• Start small. A two-hour visit while you're still home helps the person get used to a new helper.
• Write a one-page "how to care for Mom" sheet. Include the daily routine, medications and times, food likes and dislikes, what calms them, mobility help, and emergency contacts. A care log makes this easy to keep current.
• Keep it regular. A standing weekly slot is easier for everyone than occasional breaks.
• Expect some guilt, and go anyway. NIA notes that many caregivers find it hard to ask for help. Rested caregivers give better care.
• Use the time for yourself. Sleep, see friends, go to your own doctor. Try not to spend it all on chores.

Helping a primary caregiver get a break

If a parent is caring for your other parent, NIA suggests offering to stay with the person one afternoon a week, arranging regular volunteer or aide visits, or traveling in to cover for a few days if you live far away. Offer something specific. Spouses in particular may be reluctant to ask.

Signs that you need respite now are in our caregiver burnout guide.

Questions to ask a respite provider

• Are your workers screened and trained? Do they have dementia training, if that's relevant?
• Is there a minimum visit length? What does an hour cost, and are there extra fees for nights or weekends?
• Can we have the same worker each time?
• What happens if the worker can't come?
• Do you accept Medicaid, VA, long-term care insurance, or local program funding?
• For short-term stays: how far ahead do we need to book, and what medical paperwork is needed?

Plan a first respite week

If you've never had a break, try this progression:

1. Week 1: a two-hour visit while you're home but in another room or out on a short errand.
2. Week 2: a half-day while you leave the house.
3. Week 3 and on: a regular weekly block, plus a plan for one longer break every few months.

Keep your care sheet updated after each visit with what went well and what to change. Over time, you'll have a backup plan that actually works when you need it.

If you're paid as a family caregiver

Being paid through a Medicaid program doesn't mean you have to work without breaks. Ask the case manager whether respite is in the care plan, whether another relative can be enrolled as a backup worker, and how sick days are handled. Some programs specifically require a backup plan.

Adult day programs: what to expect

Adult day programs offer supervised activities, meals, and social time during the day. Some also offer health services such as medication help or therapy. They're especially useful for caregivers who work, and they can give the person receiving care something to look forward to. When you visit, ask about staff-to-participant ratios, transportation, how they handle dementia-related behaviors, and what a typical day looks like. Many programs offer a trial day.

Respite from family and friends

Informal respite is often the easiest place to start. Ask a relative, friend, neighbor, or faith community member for a set time each week. Make it simple to say yes: write down the routine, keep visits short at first, and be clear about what they don't need to do (like bathing). Volunteers who provide companionship can be a good fit too. Ask your Area Agency on Aging about volunteer programs.

Frequently asked questions

Does Medicare pay for respite care?

Only in limited situations. Under Medicare hospice care, short inpatient respite stays are covered (with a 5% coinsurance of the Medicare-approved amount, per Medicare). Medicare doesn't pay for ongoing respite or custodial care.

How do I find respite care near me?

Use the ARCH National Respite Locator, your state Lifespan Respite Program, and your local Area Agency on Aging (Eldercare Locator: 800-677-1116).

Can a family member be paid to provide respite?

In some state Medicaid programs, yes. Check your state's rules, which are linked from our state guides.

Sources

Last checked October 15, 2026. Found an error? Email [email protected].